Crazy…

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Aug 282017
 

I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to be a part of anything -big or small. The pain inside seems to stem from nowhere and everywhere all at once and I don’t know how to bear it, or if I want to. The nectar flowing through my veins warms me, puts a crooked smile on my face and belly laughs that hide the fact the tears are real.

Anxiety causes my heart to race and wakes me from the peace of not feeling at all. I wish I could make it stop, but nothing can, and I won’t hold my breath that death will cause it to end either. Crazy thing about eternal life is the eternal damnation.

I am damned.

You can’t punish me more than I punish myself. You can’t make the hurt more painful than it already is. Nothing can.

So, I laugh and I play and I beg God to take me back… but he won’t, because fallen angels never go back. We may earn our wings, but only to carry our own sins. Floating through eternity in air dense as mud.

I would question my sanity, if I had any left.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…
I watched the sunset and stayed to watch it rise, and then I said goodbye to the light- knowing it was my last.

The darkness of the country sky is broken by the blinking coloured light of a plane flying slowly by. Hundreds of miles high, moving faster than the inches from 4 feet below ground can see.

The cat cutting through the earphones as she kills a mouse, or a string or an elastic band. The music playing my own voice -Foolish Games, Hallelujah… Unsteady…

I’m just a little unsteady…

 

 

Aug 162017
 

Here is a quick break down of my favourite 9 shows this summer!

  1. Gypsy

This psychological thriller really explored parts of the human mind that most shows simply don’t. Some people said the show was too slow for them, but for me the character building was absolutely brilliant. A therapist who is herself very lost and looking for her place in this world, while also a mother to a beautiful little girl who seems to be leaning towards being transgender, and a rocky marriage on both her and her husband’s parts. It was oddly relatable. I heard that Netflix hasn’t picked Gypsy up for another season after several weeks of working on the show, so we will have to see! I really hope we get a season 2!

  1. The Sinner

Another show with some deeper psychological things going on! The sinner is a limited series offered by the USA network and follows the journey of a young mom who has violent outbursts when triggered and doesn’t understand why. The help of a detective and psychologist are trying to unravel the secrets of her past that may be what is ruining her future.

  1. Riverdale

This show is one I watched people do reactions and reviews for and thought I wouldn’t enjoy because I never really cared for comic books, I was wrong. This show is so much more than a comic book, with all those main characters including Archie, Jughead, Veronica, Betty, Jose and the Pussycats, Cheryl and of course their messed up twisted families. A murder mystery that is truly mysterious and has you theorizing after each episode. Coming back this fall for season 2, I recommend a binge!

  1. Room 104

An anthology type of show that only runs for half an hour or 22 minutes if you DVR it! It takes place in Motel Room 104 and so far, is only 3 episodes in. With new characters/actors and a new storyline each week it is always fun to look forward too. While there is nothing to really theorize about and each episode does conclude, it does leave a lot open to interpretation. Is the room haunted? Does it attract evil or strange things? Is this a weird version of If These Walls Could Talk? A fun show that is almost a comedic/dramatic/thriller. After the first episode, I was reminded of a childhood show on YTV called “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” Very fun!

  1. The Fosters

I binged the first four seasons of The Fosters on Netflix earlier this summer and was anticipating season 5. It is a little bit chaotic right now at I believe 5 episodes in and a ton of storylines, but it is a great mostly family friendly show that is also family oriented! It deals with the struggles of adoption, foster care, the way juvenile courts work, LGBTQI, preparing for university and the way your actions can follow you through life. I really enjoy this show, even on weeks where it feels more like filler! A good friend does a live chat each Wednesday morning on The Fosters on YouTube and it is a lot of fun!

  1. Quantico

Another show I binged the first season of. It has a very HTGAWM feel in how it time jumps to reveal the truth and the first season was really good. I am struggling to enjoy the second season but I am giving it a shot just the same. I may enjoy it a LOT more once the kids are back in school and I can pay attention to those time jumps better.

  1. OZARK

I literally just began watching this show yesterday and I am only one episode in but oh my, a lot has happened. The write-up on Netflix says, “A financial adviser drags his family from Chicago to the Missouri Ozarks, where he must launder $500 million in five years to appease a drug boss.” As you can imagine there have been murders, threats and a lot of craziness that you would normally get from a mob style movie. So far, I am really enjoying this show and feel there is a lot of hope for the rest of the season.

  1. Girlboss

Another show I had absolutely no plans to watch, and fully expected to hate. WRONG! I feel like I relate a lot to the main character who is just a young lady trying to have the best of both worlds, happiness and the money to survive! Very inspirational. Though, if you are turned off by inappropriate gestures and swearing this show may not be for you!

  1. The Handmaid’s Tale

I watched this show earlier this spring with eager anticipation of every episode. It is another brilliantly done show and while it’s based on an old book by Canadian author Margaret Atwood, it certainly feels relevant to how things are going in the USA in 2017. It’s a scary thought that this show really COULD happen in the near future if bigoted men continue to speak and act the way they have over the past year. I HIGHLY recommend this show. Don’t let the word “dystopian” talk you out of seeing this eye-opener!


What movies or tv shows have you been watching? What are you looking forward to seeing this fall? I am excited for the return of Riverdale, How to Get Away with Murder, Scandal, 13 Reasons Why, and a ton of others!

 

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