I stare at the cursor flashing black on white and the words blowing around in my head don’t want to flow to my tongue, or to the fingers that place them on the screen. I’ve never written while happy. I have never been happy, not for more than a fleeting moment or two anyway.
This is new territory for me and at every corner fear creeps in and I wonder how long happiness can last. I doubt myself and wonder if I am good enough. Scripture tells me I am plenty good. That when God was finished waving His finger creating the world, He looked down and saw that it was very good. I know this includes me, and you and everyone yet to come.
We are all a part of the original plan, His plan!
How do I shake those relationship fears though? How do I be safely me while for the first time in my life I am loving on someone who isn’t my child? How do I not mess things up?
The answer seems to be simple, and yet it’s one that I often fall away from during the good times and like so many, hold tight to during the hard times only; looking to Christ.
The Truth is:
If I seek the Lord, he hears me, and he will deliver me from ALL my fears! ~Psalm 34:4~
I should not be anxious about anything, and in everything through prayer and petition and with a heart of thanksgiving, I must present my requests to God and the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus ~Philippians 4:6-7~
And, while the outside looks like it’s been attacked by Elsa having a tantrum my heart knows only the warmth of love and beats excitedly in happiness and joy and I know that my verse for 2016 – All things are possible with God – has proven to be true and I will embrace each moment as they come.
I will love deeply and fully as Jesus has ordered me to do.
I will pray hard and often about the direction my life is taking and I will live in the hope of the Lord because I have come to realize that when I try and live without hope, I am living in fear and anxiety and that is not living at all.
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”
“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'”