Nov 262015

Today in the USA people from corner to corner sat around table’s big and small enjoying family and friends and good eats. Up here in Canada we did this in October which is equally as fun, though I will say the emphasis seems to be a lot more on family and friends than on the sales the day after. I mean, I get wanting to save money but there is more to this day than the sale on Friday.

They say that Thanksgiving was started with Pilgrims and Indians and all of that Jazz but really, from my perspective as a Christian, I see Thanksgiving beginning at that famous table that da Vinci painted of the last supper. Where Jesus and friends are passing bread and sharing wine. Where the Bible tells us about the upcoming crucifixion and the prophesies that will be fulfilled.

Jesus gave thanks. He sat or stood or did whatever Jesus did and He gave thanks to God the Father, teaching us to give thanks in all things, in all ways, always.

I would love to see more Jesus around the table and less shopping. And any shopping to be done with Jesus in mind. How about supporting Compassion, World Vision, Gospel for Asia, shopping fair trade and supporting the stay at home mama’s who are working from home with their home businesses. Like myself, Plexus is an awesome product that has given people health back, then we have the wonderful Mama’s (and wives) who are selling Avon, Scentsy and so many other amazing and GREAT products that support the seller instead of the billionaire chain store.

Did you know that for 30 dollars you can give medication to 10 children who are at risk of dying from preventable diseases? Did you know that for a couple hundred dollars you could buy livestock for a family so they can not only eat but make money? Did you know that while we sip on coffee and eggnog and all sorts of beverages there are millions of people who are dying, literally -for a single sip of something safe?

So let’s take our Thanks and GIVE because we need to be giving in order to truly receive the bounty of the Holy Spirit. All because Jesus mindfully spoke words of thanks around that table all those years ago!

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Oct 262015

As the Scriptures say, “People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever.” And that word is the Good News that was preached to you.
~1 Peter 1:24-25 NLT~

It seems like this fall has been death after death and then some. I know that the Lord is whispering names and calling people home to Heaven but I struggle and ask God why He is whispering the names of people I know or who have been in my life.

I am trying to trust in His perfect timing because that’s exactly what it is –perfect. Yet it really is a struggle. I am simply worn out, tear stained and growing weary and fatigued.

Sometimes, shutting the world out is the way I protect myself, even though it’s definitely not the best.

I have found myself in the trenches in the past and begged the Lord to call my name instead, to take me back. I have read Job and felt as though the Lord has walked away from me and doesn’t want me, not here or in Heaven and in a lot of ways this thought helped shape some of my beliefs. I believe that purgatory and hell exist. I believe that we are living that here on earth and that the unpublished gospel of Thomas saying that Heaven is a state of mind and something we can totally achieve on earth if we seek it, is true, however, I also believe that we need to seek God in order to achieve Heaven –anywhere.

So I will wait until He whispers my name. My ears will be open and I will love long and hard during the time He has gifted me to have whilst here.

Oct 212015

Today Jen from Faith Mustard Seed and a group from her church hopped on a plane to go over to Cambodia for 10 days. She sent out a document to all of us and asked us to fill out a time to pray for them each day. Pray that they are doing well, staying safe, and of course reaching many with the gospel! If you could take time each day and just say a quick prayer for all missionaries that would be wonderful!

I watched War Room the other day. At first I thought “this doesn’t apply to me because I am not married” then as I continued to watch I found myself saying “Amen” and “Hallelujah” and before I knew it I was looking around trying to figure out where I could set up my own war room!! A place for me to kick Satan out of my life and for me to invite God and scripture and all that is good IN.

Last night I journaled like I do in one way or another most days, but after the first paragraph my journaling turned into a prayer and not a prayer that I would normally write, not one that started with “Heavenly Father…” no… instead my prayer was flowing from me and likely only made sense to God!

Father please enter this home and cast Satan out. Remove the negativity that comes and replace it with Your unconditional love. Stand guard over my parents and children and protect them from pain and death!

I cast you out Satan. I cast you out of my thoughts. I refuse to allow you to plant your evil seeds of doubt! Jesus Christ fills me! The Holy Spirit surrounds me and God the Father casts you down into the pits of hell from which you came!

Jesus, You are my Protector. My Father. The One who loves. Your Spirit bright and True. My Saviour.

I chose to follow You each and every day of my life Jesus! Thank You for breathing the Holy Spirit into me every moment of every day!


Oct 162015

The green fields of hay have been long brown and the frost and the cold each night threatens the green grass covered in leaves colored in reds, browns and orange. It won’t be long now until the snow comes and while I love the snow and the blanketed earth made new and fresh I can’t help but also feel a nudge of grief and loss because once the snow comes navigating through the cemetery becomes more than tough. I feel like I am either stepping on someone’s head or talking to the wrong person all while up to my knees in the frozen white.

Winter does have its own green though, at least here. When you look up at night at the right time you can see the northern lights dancing in shades of gold, yellow and green and sometimes on the coldest nights you will see other colors like pinks and purples too and you can’t help but want to dance right along with the sky that God has painted, is painting.

My love has seen the southern lights, which I didn’t know even existed, but apparently they do and they do a similar dance and make you feel one with the whole universe while also feeling small.

It’s okay to feel small.

There is magic up in the sky from the stars to the lights to the who knows what is and why, because God, He created everything and my son reminds me all the time on our drives home from youth that the star I am looking at has long been burned out and I realize just how far away that star really is that it’s light lingers on in my personal here and now.

Back at the cemetery are the ones I love and I love to think of them as those burnt out stars, there vessels no longer alive yet their lights still shining bright, impacting the darkness, and changing life.

I don’t have much to say on the topic of green. It was fun watching Holly and Mary and Ashertiah ponder out loud on this and I am reminded that this FMF Party is really a FMF FAMILY and I am so blessed by y’all to be a part of it. While we pray for Jen who is moving to her tiny house and then traveling with her church to Cambodia, while we pray for mental health and Valerie’s current struggle, while we pray for Asheritah’s pregnancy and friends who are in new seasons with new jobs or retiring… we grow fresh and new like the grass after a long melt.

We thank the Lord for the community and the friendship and the bacon and the chocolate and the periscope popins and so much more and I have to remember that God is the great Conductor of the Orchestra that we all know and love. Some of us are green with morning sickness, while others are green with envy and others are looking on and thinking the grass is greener on the other side and that’s what makes each and every one of us a critical part of this ministry, of this symphony that imperfectly-perfectly combines.

Jul 232015

Ten years ago I had narrowly escaped dying, I managed to get out of that house with my three year old and my 9 month old in tow. It was the middle of a Canadian February night and the violence had only escalated. I was his possession, God said so, or so I thought. You see, when you’re being held by a ministers son and you have two children and you are a teen yourself and you are being told that you wouldn’t need to be raped, punished, tied up, etc. if you would only obey and that “man obeys God and woman obeys man”, it becomes hard to argue against it.

That night I escaped, and for many nights after, I prayed. Not for myself though, but for them, that they would see the truth of their evil ways, that they would repent, that they would know the real God and quit hurting people with the Word because the Word wasn’t meant to hurt, it was created to heal and save.

Somewhere along the path I realized that even Satan can read. Somehow, that has brought me great healing. For many it would be a scary thought, knowing that Satan can be the Minister of your church, the one preaching to your children, working in the jails and telling the men who abuse their wives that that is okay because women are supposed to obey.

Yeah… that scared me too, but God? He decided to use it for His glory. He decided to use my inquisitive mind to hunt down the truth. His truth. I read the Quran, I spoke to Hindu’s Christian Science people, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Catholics, Ukrainian Catholics, non-denomination Christians and the list goes on and the one thing I found to be true was the Bible, Jesus, His unwavering love for me, and for you.

Now, ten years later I still have PTSD, with flashbacks, nightmares and a whole lot of anxiety, but because of God I am still alive. I am still here I have found the truth and when my physical does pass I will live eternally with Him forever. The lies have been shown to me by God himself. I can only pray that other victims will search for His perfect truth too.

Jul 162015

When you are in jail you aren’t allowed to whistle… people who whistle are usually CO’s and the inmates who whistle are risking being injured or even killed. Singing is fine though, even encouraged, making music and lyrics is part of life. When I asked a friend, Gerry, why you can’t whistle in jail he told me straight out “because birds are free and they whistle, you can only whistle when you are free.”

This has always stuck with me. Possibly because I own a bird and I have had many birds through my life. My bird likes to climb out of his cage and sit on his roof and whistles, or talk, he often says my sons name which is funny since the bird is terrified of the kids. Every night when Tweety comes out and sings a song or whistles along with me while I am cleaning or working I am reminded that having his door open gives him the love of singing, of being free. He is a domestic bird and always has been so to him the room is the world. He doesn’t know what horrors he would face outside of here and he is content in this room of ours.

It makes me sad though, that inmates can’t whistle, because when you’re serving a year or two or life and you find God all you want to do is sing form the rooftops that you are in fact free. You want to whistle Jesus Loves Me because you have learned that the walls that surround you are meaningless to your soul and that when you have achieved true freedom it doesn’t matter where you are, it simply means you are God’s child and you know it!

My friend, Gerry, has been in and out of jail now since he was 8 years old, one day over the phone we calculated his time served for all these petty things and it was nearly 40 years of his life, and yet each week when I receive a letter in the mail, or a new piece of art from him, I see how free he truly is because of his walk with the Lord. He makes life seem so simple and happy and easy when I know for a fact it is not. He draws me pictures of wildlife and the things he misses from the outside world. His letters are always about me, my family, how I am doing and my walk with God.

He is the Paul in my life. Writing to me from what many would call the depths of hell to encourage me through the power of the Holy Ghost. I remember writing to him years ago, that even Jesus had been arrested and therefore I could not judge. Part of me had been set free upon our friendship beginning and through the grace of God that freedom persists, the letters come, the art goes up and the prayers are felt.

I am free today, tomorrow and eternally all through the One who died in captivity.

Jun 042015

“I am a gift giver
You are a gift giver
We are all givers and receivers of gifts
And the Greatest gift you can give and receive
Is the gift of Love
The gift of Love”

I remember singing these words during mass on the gym floor at the Catholic school I went to, OLV – Our Lady of the Valley. The school only went through grade 6 but that gave me 8 years of songs embedded in my head.

I think in those days turned into years is when I realized that I don’t need to be in an actual “Church” in order to experience the love and community that is Church. I learned that God gave us the Gift and the Gift was Jesus and His command and promise was Love and that all love is ordained by God Himself.

In recent years I have learned that I can minister through my writing, through Facebook groups and posts. I can experience community and prayer in the grocery store with an old friend or on Twitter in our Party’s. I see MY church every day when I turn on my computer and there are messages full of praise reports, prayer requests and notifications within the groups I lead.

Those are my people, my Church, gifted to me by God through His Love.

I prayed for quite a while, probably 5 years about whether or not I want to begin attending church and while I still haven’t decided God has gifted contentment into my heart for what I am doing and where I am at right now on this spiritual journey.

My prayer is that my story will bring Him glory, that I will encourage someone along their own personal path and that everything I have been through in my life will not be for Satan’s service.

The Bible tells us that where two or more are gathered in His name in prayer it will be done and since Facebook and Twitter didn’t exist back then I can only assume that the connections I am making in the social media realm count and that God sees/hears those prayers and is a witness to our hearts, we aren’t just community, we are family. Separated by continents, countries, state lines and time zones, yet He has gifted us into one another’s lives.

In God there are no mistakes, Only truth.

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