Dec 222018
 

I’ve compiled my top favourite true crime YouTubers that I have enjoyed this past year! Only 8 made the cut as many others are only focused on one case and I think bringing light to as many cases as possible is important! I am subscribed to nearly 100 different channels from family vloggers, to cleaning, makeup and yes, of course, more crime! I may decide to list some of those other channels another day!

Eleanor Neale

Eleanor Neale has an amazing UK accent and most of her videos are true crime narrations. Her accent combined with the stories she tells, and the respect she gives, have made her one of my favourites in 2018!

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Gabulosis

Gabulosis has a series on vintage crimes, especially hollywood starlet types called “Vintage and Vanished”. She always has a new hair color and vlogged for the first time during her Halloween video’s this year! She talks about many unknown to me cases and I love it! Like many others, she also puts in an off-topic video or a different style video once in awhile to lighten the mood and show another side of herself! She does an amazing job and I have no clue why she wasn’t recommended to me sooner!

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Amber Loves Mystery TRUE CRIME

Amber has fairly long videos and really puts a lot of love into every case she covers! She also has posted a couple of vlogs and unboxing videos of products that people who are interested in creepy things would enjoy! She has talked about having some struggles with her health and still manages to upload regularly! She caught my eye with her beautiful backgrounds and soothing voice! I love the variety on her channel!

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Cayleigh Elise

Cayleigh does an amazing job with her series of covered John and Jane Does called “Nameless”, her series “Dark Matters” and tons of other dark topics, including fringe episodes and Subsriber Storytime! If I had one complaint, it would be that she has a lot of Patreon only things, and I can’t afford to join in, but I absolutely respect her for fnding a way to keep the channel up and running and sharing these important messages!

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Georgia Marie

Georgia is another young woman with an amazing accent! She covers a lot of cases from the UK and this makes her videos seem quite new to me as they are often cases that i am not familiar with. However, she also has done the classics, including Jack the Ripper. She uploads every Wednesday for a “Midweek Mystery” and throws in a beauty product or vlog here and there to help lighten the mood and allow her viewers to see other aspects of her life!

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LordanARTS

John Lordan has been someone I’ve been following for several years! He is the ONLY YouTuber I have ever bought merch from! He has several different series on his channel, Brain Scratch -which was birthed by the Elisa Lam case, Case Cracked, where he gives us a story where the case is solved. Searchlight, which highlights missing people; and once in awhile he will toss in a more fringe episode to lighten the mood and peak your interest by something not so dark! He used to do a weekly documentary or movie review as well, but has changed his schedule up and this is no longer in his regular weekly rotation, but he does feature a documentary or movie here and there! John, is one of the only YouTubers I have ever found who has the families of the victims reach out to him and be willing to discuss the cases, adding in an even more personal touch and call to action!

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Shauna Rae

Shauna Rae is another true crime YouTuber who enjoys pulling up lesser-known cases. Her channel is building really nicely and I am excited for her! I don’t know if I have ever even left a comment (I will have to!!) but her information is clearly well researched and she isn’t afraid to look at her notes to make sure she is getting it right! Recently her uploads did slow down as she explained some health issues in a recent video, but I am excited that she is back! Shauna Rae also tosses in some skincare products and q&a’s to lighten the mood, but it is tastefully done and doesn’t take away from the messages of the victims she is representing!

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These are literally in no order other than the way they appeared in my subscription list! I hope you check them out and find someone new to enjoy! If you have are in love with somone, or have your own channel, leave me a comment and I will check them out!

EDIT
I realize there are now only 7 listed. One was removed due to spreading rumours about other YouTubers and tearing people down. I am not about that game and won’t be supporting someone who is! I hope you enjoy my top 7!!

Dec 302016
 

I stare at the cursor flashing black on white and the words blowing around in my head don’t want to flow to my tongue, or to the fingers that place them on the screen. I’ve never written while happy. I have never been happy, not for more than a fleeting moment or two anyway.

This is new territory for me and at every corner fear creeps in and I wonder how long happiness can last. I doubt myself and wonder if I am good enough. Scripture tells me I am plenty good. That when God was finished waving His finger creating the world, He looked down and saw that it was very good. I know this includes me, and you and everyone yet to come.

We are all a part of the original plan, His plan!

How do I shake those relationship fears though? How do I be safely me while for the first time in my life I am loving on someone who isn’t my child? How do I not mess things up?

The answer seems to be simple, and yet it’s one that I often fall away from during the good times and like so many, hold tight to during the hard times only; looking to Christ.

The Truth is:

If I seek the Lord, he hears me, and he will deliver me from ALL my fears! ~Psalm 34:4~

And,

I should not be anxious about anything, and in everything through prayer and petition and with a heart of thanksgiving, I must present my requests to God and the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus ~Philippians 4:6-7~


And, while the outside looks like it’s been attacked by Elsa having a tantrum my heart knows only the warmth of love and beats excitedly in happiness and joy and I know that my verse for 2016 – All things are possible with God – has proven to be true and I will embrace each moment as they come.

I will love deeply and fully as Jesus has ordered me to do.

I will pray hard and often about the direction my life is taking and I will live in the hope of the Lord because I have come to realize that when I try and live without hope, I am living in fear and anxiety and that is not living at all.

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”
~Psalm 42:5~

“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'”
~Hebrews 13:6~

 

 


 

Nov 232016
 

16-x-4This contraption is pretty cool with enough mic hookups to really get even the largest of groups ready to go. Here is what Musicians Friend says about the 16×4 Pro-co Stage Master Snake!

“This high-quality Pro Co audio cable snake is configured with16 XLR mic inputs and four ¼” TRS returns. It features metal hand-soldered fan connectors and has a cable grip on the box. Color-coded fan shrink makes set-up a breeze. Available in 50′ or 100′ lengths.

Pro Co makes great sounding, flexible, sturdy, easy- to- coil and carry snake cables for touring /concert applications.”

Sep 272016
 

Woodwind Brasswind is an amazing site for people who enjoy either of these types of instruments and offer new and used items, a place for educators and have a music room. They also ship to 90+ countries which is pretty amazing! Right now they are excited to promote G. Schirmer Diller-Quaile First Solo Book New Edition By Diller Standard.

Diller Quaile has a very hefty index which the website lists the “Contents: Ah, Mon Beau Chateau · All the Birds (German) · Autumn Song · Baa Baa Black Sheep · Berceuse · Bohemian Song · Bring a Torch, Jeannette, Isabella · Cock-A-Doodle-Doo · Cradle Song · Dutch Tune · Early One Morning · English Folk Song · French Jig · Frere Jacques (Are You Sleeping?) · Hippity Hop · Hop, Hop, Hop! · Hot Cross Buns · Hunting Song · Hush, Little Baby · In Springtime · Irish Air · Jack Be Nimble · Jack Sprat · The Keys of Canterbury (English) · Lament (Moravian Folk) · Lavender’s Blue · Little Bo-Peep · Little Jack Horner · Lullaby · Morning Song (French Folk) · My Country, ‘Tis of Thee (America) · Nachtigall (Nightingale) · The Old Chateau (French Folk) · Pierrot · Pussy Cat · Raindrops · Ride a Cock-Horse · Russian Folk Tune · Russian Song · The Shepherdess · Sing a Song of Sixpence · Slumber Song · Song of the Sword (Moravian) · Spanish Folk Song · Star of the Sea (French Folk) · Sur Le Pont D’avignon · Suzy, Little Suzy (Humperdinck) · Vicar of Bray · Waltz.”

WWBW is proud to stand by their products and are excited to offer a no-risk assurance of total satisfaction and low price guarantees on their products to everyone who orders!

 

Jul 012016
 

I wore my heart on my sleeve, exposed and fully bare. No one to protect the flooded arteries from the scars that travelled fast and hard and way too near. As I speak in lyrics and sing the song that’s on my heart the child asks if I have a song for everything and I pause. I look into her beautiful deep blue eyes that carry a pain of their own, and I say “unsung lyrics are simply a journey yet to be experienced.” And the response was “that’s deep.”

You have no idea how deep though young one, while you are worrying about snap stories and who will be on the bus next year I am thinking long and hard about whether or not I am mothering you the way you need. I keep bleeding love for my children because God shed blood for those of us that are His.

And you think love is to pray
But I’m sorry, I don’t pray that way
~Tainted Love~

 

I don’t need Queen to sing “We are the Champions” in order to know that our Earthly battle has already been won. I don’t need John Newton’s lyrics to Amazing Grace to know that His grace is more than sufficiently amazing, or Hillsong to tell me that “Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now.”



And yet the words of Manson singing about drugs and feeling like a nobody and wanting to be a somebody gives me a reason and a need for the music that also represents the good and I have physically experienced a plethora of evil/bad, it is somehow reassuring to hear the lyrics that express that pain and expose my unknown broken in order that I can mend the shattered pieces with a giant tube of super glue and listen to the songs that bandage my heart to stop the sting and leave me resting in the only One who completely understands and has promised to heal.

I drop to my knees and I beg as I kneel “Heaven save me, I am down to one last breath” and as Creed plays in my prayer I already know that my finale belongs to the one who gave me a beginning -God.

Jun 042016
 

This week has been a whirlwind with a child travelling 18 hours from home and tracking flights and drop offs and pick ups and my mom collapsing in pain and being in the hospital up until a few hours ago with surgery on the horizon. I have missed my haven- home- my bed. I have missed sleep and the way my blankets comfort me and keep me comfortable, I missed food and water and I missed having my mom home.

I missed my time with God because there was no time between running around and going to the hospital to fit in my study -I tried but in the end not even the boy child got sent to school, it was just too much to deal with and the safety of my little cocoon felt so exposed as I sat in waiting wondering if surgery would happen or if release papers would come.

I crawled into my little haven last night at around 4:30am and was out the door to the hospital by 9:30am. The night before only left me with about 4 hours of stressed sleep as I entertained the boy child waiting to hear how my mom was, grandma, the woman who has helped me raise my children without complaint.

Sometimes our haven is a place, like bed, sometimes it is a person like my mom and it is ALWAYS God’s loving embrace.

They were glad when it grew calm,
    and he guided them to their desired haven.

~Psalm 107:30~

Tonight as I rest my head knowing my mom is safely upstairs in her bed and all my children are home and under one roof I can rest into my God, lay in my safe haven and know that all will be well. God has definitely been my guide this week and prevented me from burning out, helping me to triage all that life was throwing and still get us all safely home each night. God is good, always and always, God is good!

May 052016
 

I sat there as the modem was supposed to be resetting glancing through the pictures of the first few months of my daughters life that are in the album that hasn’t been put away. I could look at the pictures of myself even then and see the exhaustion and depression hidden on my face, the abuse by the smiling and oh so young man standing next to me making it appear as though I was nothing more than tired after delivering a child.

What the pictures miss though is that I was ecstatic to be a mom, even though I was only 17 years old. I was beyond proud of this little accomplishment that had just escaped my body and been placed on my chest, that doesn’t show in the pictures and it makes me sad to think that she will look back one day at the abusive one and see the pain and sorrow in my eyes.

What’s missing are the bruises and the pain, because no one hurts a woman who is over due thinking it won’t be noticed. No one realizes that those frozen moments in time are fraction of a second glimpses into a world that digs deeper than most anyone, including abuse victims, can fathom.

I use the term domestic abuse because people understand that. They don’t understand when I say I was beaten and brainwashed through the teachings of the Bible, raped for “the glory of god” because of my insolence, denied friends and family without supervision, or that when I speak of the phantom shackles that I still feel holding me that I literally mean, I was held tied up, handcuffed, restrained while being used as a “sex slave” and then beaten for refusing.

Yeah, that’s all missed in those pictures, and in the hundreds of others. In fact, the only pictures of any of this have firmly been in the hands of the police since 2005, when I escaped with my children in tow on a cold February night after being raped and nearly killed… escaped. I didn’t leave, I fled for my life, our lives. The pictures the hospital took of his hand print bruised onto my infant’s head, photos of my most intimate parts torn, bruised, bleeding with measuring devices and other “tools” to help the police understand all that happened. Restraints that are in the possession of the police sitting away in an evidence box.

You can take away the things and pack it neatly into bags and boxes, but you can’t pack away the scars, especially the scars that live on the inside. The images branded into my brain.

All of that is missing and I go down as a victim of domestic abuse, a survivor, meanwhile, I am bobbing up and down in waters too deep always gasping for my last breath.

So much of my story sits in files hidden away because the world isn’t ready for that, I am not ready for that. There are parts of me that have been missing since I was 15 years old and in the 11 years since my escape I have wondered over and over again if those are parts of the puzzle that will ever be found.

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