Yeah, you put on the white cloak and you sat there at my bedside when the world was completely engulfed in all things dark. You convinced me that I was to suffer and be in pain and feel the sting of the whip crack against my broken flesh because I couldn’t be obedient to Jesus holy name.
Then, one day the truth poked through and I knew it was live or die. I wouldn’t let you win – not this time.
It was a dark and cold February night as I fought for my life in a battle with you, the person who claimed to have the One on your side. You raped me –torn, bloody, raw. To prove that you were a man to be obeyed. You held a knife to me, you choked me, you knocked me out but the real God prevailed and He got me out.
The priest cupped my hands firmly 4 months after that night and her words stuck with me. “Even Satan can read. He is the master manipulator, the father of lies.”
Tears flowed down my cheeks –a release that I had been holding onto, holding in –the pain was killing me. I held the Bible firmly and slept with it under my pillow trying to pray the past away. In search of the true Truth and not the one I was forced to obey.
My notebooks grew thick as I began to study, read and write. It was God in and evil out throughout the day and night. I was on the hunt for the One who protects and does not hurt, the One who saves because He was the sacrifice, the One who forgives those who society won’t redeem, the God who came to earth with skin on to fulfill prophesy of old.
Somewhere along the broken road without even realizing I had done it – I believed, I had accepted Christ into my heart and life was finally looking up, the clouds still lingered and the pain of the past still stung-fresh, but above every dark cloud there was Light and every shadow was cast by the Light and when I realized that there could be no shadow if the Light didn’t exist I knew that I was on the path just right.
And so my notes have grown and my heart has not only found God but it’s a place in which He resides, the weary-drained no longer steals from my soul because the angels with their swords aflame keep the evil one out. When I do see his ugly face my tongue becomes the whip and the lashes that make him flee are scripture on my tongue.
I am saved. I am free. I am redeemed.
7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
~Ephesians 1:7 (KJV)~
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