The green fields of hay have been long brown and the frost and the cold each night threatens the green grass covered in leaves colored in reds, browns and orange. It won’t be long now until the snow comes and while I love the snow and the blanketed earth made new and fresh I can’t help but also feel a nudge of grief and loss because once the snow comes navigating through the cemetery becomes more than tough. I feel like I am either stepping on someone’s head or talking to the wrong person all while up to my knees in the frozen white.
Winter does have its own green though, at least here. When you look up at night at the right time you can see the northern lights dancing in shades of gold, yellow and green and sometimes on the coldest nights you will see other colors like pinks and purples too and you can’t help but want to dance right along with the sky that God has painted, is painting.
My love has seen the southern lights, which I didn’t know even existed, but apparently they do and they do a similar dance and make you feel one with the whole universe while also feeling small.
It’s okay to feel small.
There is magic up in the sky from the stars to the lights to the who knows what is and why, because God, He created everything and my son reminds me all the time on our drives home from youth that the star I am looking at has long been burned out and I realize just how far away that star really is that it’s light lingers on in my personal here and now.
Back at the cemetery are the ones I love and I love to think of them as those burnt out stars, there vessels no longer alive yet their lights still shining bright, impacting the darkness, and changing life.
I don’t have much to say on the topic of green. It was fun watching Holly and Mary and Ashertiah ponder out loud on this and I am reminded that this FMF Party is really a FMF FAMILY and I am so blessed by y’all to be a part of it. While we pray for Jen who is moving to her tiny house and then traveling with her church to Cambodia, while we pray for mental health and Valerie’s current struggle, while we pray for Asheritah’s pregnancy and friends who are in new seasons with new jobs or retiring… we grow fresh and new like the grass after a long melt.
We thank the Lord for the community and the friendship and the bacon and the chocolate and the periscope popins and so much more and I have to remember that God is the great Conductor of the Orchestra that we all know and love. Some of us are green with morning sickness, while others are green with envy and others are looking on and thinking the grass is greener on the other side and that’s what makes each and every one of us a critical part of this ministry, of this symphony that imperfectly-perfectly combines.