I didn’t know what to expect when I was 16 and the line showed blue. I was pregnant. What I did know what that abortion wasn’t an option and neither was adoption. I always wanted babies but this was just happening far too soon.
I was sick, really sick and in and out of the hospital as a result.
8 days late and the baby that was expected to be early arrived. My heart not beating right and hers in distress. They said they had an OR ready and I said I had to push. She was in my arms 15 minutes later. I was a mom. I am a mom.
She is 12 now and I can definitely say that being her mama has been full of the unexpected and the oh-so-sweet. From her first words to the hug she gave me tonight for helping her with her math.
One thing I definitely didn’t expect in those early years was that every older lady who approached me telling me it goes to fast was right. It really does go too fast. I literally blinked and now I have this beautiful young lady who is in junior high and is managing her money and has her own phone and bills and quirks and a dog! A dog she raised from the moment he was born.
I didn’t know the love I would feel or the hurts I would experience, or the late nights of worry and long-winded prayers I would be speaking.
In a lot of ways she has raised me and this was the most unexpected thing of all. The books certainly don’t teach you that. They don’t teach you CPR, triage, time management, meals, allergies, broken hearts, bee stings, shoes hates a week after they were trending or the love and hate of pop-stars.
I should have expected all of it because I was a kid not that long ago, but now that I am the mama and not the kid the world is completely new and every day and even every moment can be entirely different from one to the next.
I am still in love with this little person and I expect I always will be. God gives us Mama’s a whole boat load of grace and when that ship sinks a rescue boat comes along with even more.