It comes in all forms, the news, social media, that dreaded phone call in the night. Someone you knew or maybe even cared about has died and you find yourself lost, dumbfounded, wondering why or how and through all the questions that don’t seem to have answers you realize that when you lose, your learn.
You learn from that deep ache that life does move on, whether you want it to or not. Days rapidly turn to weeks and then years and the memories are as vivid today as they were when you made them.
I learned this past week that a person I haven’t talked to since I left high school, suffered yet another tragic loss. His mom died on her motorcycle not far from here. The cause of death at this point remains unknown.
Then we see our own mortality splayed out before us like the blood streaked across the road. Knowing that no matter how hard you scrub you can’t get blood from stone. Yet we try. We try to get that blood out and rub our hands raw to scrub away that bloody pain. We question whether or not we would have lived life the same. We wonder if we will have regrets.
I feel for the atheist who doesn’t experience God’s grace. Who believes that blood stuck to the ground and waiting to be bleached by the sun and absorbed by the earth is the end. The final moments of your entire existence laid out, the oxygen that you breathed in a billon times leaves you, putrid, raw.
But, by His grace I have learned that no matter how much blood, how deep the wound or how painful the loss the lesson is learned again and again. His grace forgiving me of any unconfessed sin in those moments between life and life eternal. He isn’t the one who tosses us this pain. We brought the pain upon ourselves. Adam and Eve. In the garden of Eden, eating the fruit of the tree that opened the world to good and evil. He warned us but we couldn’t help that human side of us from trusting blindly and being curious.
So we learned. We learned a lot with two bites of forbidden fruit. One by man, one by woman.
Each bite leaving a gaping wound in the lives of every ancestor to come, including you and I.
We see these people that we care about squashed like a bug and suddenly it all makes sense. You can’t crush soul. It doesn’t have a place within the body. Science can’t find your soul. Like Disney’s Peter Pan, we can easily find ourselves chasing our shadow, trying to grab it and sew it back on, our shadow/soul a separate entity that creates exactly who we are and seperates us from body and who we are not.
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn