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Living in Chaos | My Journal - Trending Mama
Apr 052016

The slithering serpents forked tongue’s lies echoes in my head and my heart breaks and my body bleeds and hate boils to the surface and I learn myself in ways I thought were long forgotten, but apparently forgotten not long enough.

The soaked through bandages line the trash can and a fresh one covers the sliced up lines on broken flesh and for now, I have no regrets.

In fact, I haven’t felt much of anything and maybe I should be concerned that I don’t but instead I am trapped in this euphoria that I had forgot even existed.

The sky spewing snow onto the spring’s earthy scented ground and I know the weather is just as lost and confused as I am, and somehow I am okay with the white blanket laying itself down because the down that covers me will be peeled away come morning and there will spring forward new life.

The only memories of days like yesterday and today will be in the forms of scars that I can no longer even count. Takes 56 days for the blood to come back, 56 days before I am once again working on full. Whatever that means.

I am feeling overly lost in a world where I don’t want to be found, and yet somewhere deep inside I know my stripes have already been healed by the ones that Christ bore on the cross so that I could be saved.

I don’t have to worry what happened today or yesterday or what will happen tomorrow because He has a plan greater than we can see. Yeah so I don’t know why or how or what for but I know that he knows and that is comforting enough for me to rest my head and sleep.

So sleep I will.

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