May 142014
 

Outside My Window on a Cold May 14th

When I crawled out of bed to put the dogs outside with my eyes barely open and my brain hardly noticing that I am awake and going through the morning motions I open the door and I see a carpet of snow and I feel it gently blow across my face and arms and a shiver runs up my spine in a gentle disbelief.

I get ready to go and as I walk out the front door I look at the glass that is partly steamed up from the boy who always manages to leave the door open when its cold and closed when it’s warm. I put on my flip-flops and a winter sweater because my feet refuse to believe that the snow is really there. The trees stark and naked in the grey backdrop of a sky and rain coming down between the flakes like the sky is incapable of what to do or how to decide.

 

may 14 Outside

I resolve to the fact that I won’t be going swimming this month. Between the ice, snow rain and me already having pneumonia it just isn’t happening. I sigh in a sadness but know that it just isn’t safe.

The dogs run about and they play loving the mud and the way they track it in – I don’t love that part so much. Getting multiple dogs to wipe their feet at the door is impossible so I look at the wet foot prints on the floor that lead to their crate and I know I will have to sweep when it dries because my body just doesn’t want to have anything to do with anything but rest that I am not getting. Rest that my water filled lungs need.

[Tweet “A rest that only God can give me and in Him I place this need. “]

Outside my window the sun pokes through long enough to bring hope only to turn back into snow and rain. At least it is interesting to watch from this spot in my bed. Watching the rain fall, the trees bend, the spring snow fall and blow, the flowers rise up and continue to grow.

bleeding heart may 13

Outside there is this life that I don’t feel a part of because I am falling apart and I have to accept that’s okay and that God has a plan for me today just like he did yesterday. So I get down on my hypothetical knees and I pray. I pray for peace in those who are in my life. I pray for this new Ministry endeavor that I am on. I pray for a daughter and her puppy dog. I pray for my own health. I pray that the weather will warm so that we can grow our own foods and be excited to play outside.

I am excited to get the fire-pit going and the marshmallows melting and the bikes going and to see the birds hopping and living relaxed, safe, healthy – enjoying the mundane. The fun.

Read yesterday’s post Unconventional Love
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