Jan 252015
 

If you resist the monotonous you'll miss the miraculousDo you ever feel burned out, burned down and like whatever you have written probably should be burnt?

I do.

Some days staring at the cursor on the screen or the blank page in my journal can cause some sort of physical pain that I can’t quite pinpoint. I love to write. I love to get my thoughts out as they are happening, so when this happens I tend to be tense, bottled up for one reason or another. Usually, it is something I am not aware of, at least at the time.

Lately I have been feeling just like that, while my thoughts are boiling over in a desperate eagerness to escape.

Yeah, they are right there at the surface yet there are no words, or so it seems.

I never did understand HOW I can have so much on my mind but no words to express it! Are my thoughts not filled with words on their own? Why do I feel those words are not good enough to make it to the page without some sort of profound way of gathering them together?

The first poem I ever wrote was titled “Seven”. While I don’t recall it or have a copy of it anymore it was my catalyst for my writing and my love of books. I don’t consider myself a writer but I guess anyone who writes, even if it’s for themselves is a writer, a wordsmith.

I have felt like I am not fulfilling my word for the year, FINISH. Simply because I am not writing the way I had been. Finishing the day with a blog post and/or a journal entry was always something I have done, so right now I feel behind.

Then, my verse pops into my head and it tells me that “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27) and I am reminded that I don’t NEED to worry about what I didn’t do yesterday because I have right now, today, tomorrow and as many days that the Lord wishes for me to have in the future.

And, if my fingers hit the keys and begin to write and my mind doesn’t second guess each letter I tap then I know that my mind if flowing freely and I am speaking from my heart. In filling up the pages I am really drinking in the Lord and the blank pages become a physical metaphor for the soul-holes that the words, His Word, fills up and I heal a little bit more.

Sure I wear a thousand battle scars and will likely wear a thousand more but with God, I know everything is okay. I know that whatever I put in I will get out.

One of the sermons I listened to today was talking about being fruitful and fruitless and how both will lead to painful pruning. However fruitfulness and faithfulness are inseparable and our drive is to be fruitful (Gen 1:22). If planted in the right soil we will always experience fruitfulness in our lives. The key to change is staying the same. <-Tweet this

So I write, because that is a sameness that has worked for me for as long as I can possibly remember. All that painful pruning that I have gone through allows for greater growth, better, stronger branches, more fruit. These times of painful pruning the Lord is cultivating me for the future that I do not yet know!

“Life may make the cut but God is holding the scissors”
~Pastor Steven Furtick~

 

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  6 Responses to “Painful Pruning”

  1. The discipline/sameness you were talking about, I couldn’t agree more that this is the way we grow. When I let my regular disciplines slip away I lose ground!

    • So do I! Just like infants and toddlers we as adults NEED routine in order to stay positive and make the most of our growth! Thanks for stopping by Helene!

  2. Oh how painful the pruning. Wish I could hug you. The verses and soulful words you shared here are beautiful. My fave from you today is

    “Sure I wear a thousand battle scars and will likely wear a thousand more but with God, I know everything is okay. I know that whatever I put in I will get out.

    Amen Marisa. Amen.

    • Thanks for stopping in Jeri!
      I think most people often figure there is no time for God or the Word but the truth really is what we give, we will receive. God will make time for us if we make time for God!

  3. “they are right there at the surface yet there are no words, or so it seems.” Yes Marissa!! I do understand. I am so glad you were able to get them on paper today. Loved this post! ~visiting from #TellHisStory

    • Hey Carmen! Thanks for coming over! Getting words to say what I am feeling has been a challenge for me recently. I am so happy to be pushing through and not allowing Satan to silence my heart, even when the words just seem like a jumbled mess I know that God sees them with full clarity!

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