I need release, release from the past, release from the damaging thoughts of the present. Release from the thoughts that keep me up at night and depress me during the day to the point that I am nocturnal.
I know how to find release.
I need to tell my story. I need to give God everything and trust Him. Maybe even more importantly I need to trust myself to trust God fully. I have been scorned in the past and that has always kept me from planting both feet firmly in His realm. Firmly in my Saviour’s world so that I can truly experience the joys and wonders promised to me, to us, by the Lord God Himself!
I need to release myself into His loving arms so that I can truly experience being free.
Being a Proverbs woman
Proverbs lays out pretty much everything we need to do as women, single, married, moms or not, that will please the Lord, bring Him glory and allow us to reap the benefits of the riches He has stowed away for us.
So why is it so hard? Why do I struggle to release myself to the One who is truly safe?
I know the Words, I know what I have to do. Yet I am just not fully there – even when I think I am!
So I continue to study, read, pray, surround myself in all of these beautiful women with beautiful hearts who encourage me through their words, their honesty, their humility. I do my best to humble myself before the Lord and repent.
I am in this place where I feel in-between. I don’t know what other word there could be other than in-between to explain where I am at mentally. I know I am entirely His and that my life is HIS GIFT but I still struggle to accept and react in wholesome ways –ways that would please Him.
If I Were a Butterfly
Releasing myself from the cocoon into the butterfly that He created me to be is the challenge because I am so scared of making the wrong choice, a choice that will result in me being hurt again. Trusting the wrong people –trusting the wrong version of my thoughts!
I suppose this is definitely a case of being your own worst enemy. I KNOW that my faith will carry me over the threshold and that He has already forgiven my sins. He knows my heart, my soul, my past and His grace allows me to be fully in while still having the option of “flight”.
I need spiritual release.