Restlessly at Peace

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Jan 142016
 

I grab the rag for what seems like the hundredth time and I walk over to the window that’s completely void of light. The frost is growing thick and fast since the temperature dropped earlier this week and it gets worse at night. I wipe the glass top to bottom soaking up the moisture that has yet to freeze and I drape the towel back in its place to dry knowing that tomorrow the sky will once again be bright and the ice will become water needing wiped up.

The furnace springs to life outside the bedroom and the sound would drive a normal person over the edge but I feel myself relax as it sucks the cold and blows the warm through the house.

The dogs are long asleep and the kids have been tucked in for hours. The bird sits across from me with his head tucked under his wing as I write, his feathers puffed up in spite of the heat and I secretly love that it is cold instead of warm. My bones don’t ache during this deep freeze and the furnace comes on more often stealing the chill from the air that the fall temperatures leave behind.

Barely warm pomegranate green tea lingers a little too long in my travel mug and I swallow a mouthful down.

It’s nearing 1am and my eyes are beginning to grow heavy as I type but there doesn’t seem to be a lack for words. I looked through some of my old blogs this evening and I am amazed by how far I have come as a Christian and as a mom. I am proud of the progress I have made and excited to figure out where on earth God will have me in another few years!

Studying the book of Ruth with Hello Mornings this session has been fun. The internet has been out a lot this week, I don’t think the internet likes the cold either. It always shocks me when I re-read scripture because it always, ALWAYS speaks to me differently the next time around. It’s like the first time I learn the passage and the second time I learn the people and the third time I learn the message and the forth time I begin to apply it, and so on.

I feel like I am personally in this very strange time where I feel restlessly at peace with things, wanting to change by simplifying and using simplicity to change.

My entire life I thought things brought joy and as a mom I have learned to give and now at this point I am learning that less really is more. More time with my family, more time to write and read, less time spent cleaning and taking care of things I don’t even like. I had no clue how much physical clutter could emotionally weigh me down.

Learning to be me has been the hardest and most terrifying journey and the best part is that I’ve only just begun!

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