I stared into my own eyes in the mirror expecting to see something, instead all I found was an evasive nothingness that was unsettling. I study a little harder before having to look away, my heart beating faster than it had been and me feeling perplexed by not being able to look into my own eyes.
What is it that hides so deep within that I can’t hold my own gaze?
I can study others easily, through their words, their fake smiles and their real ones too, and yet when it comes to studying myself I am completely lost, like a half printed textbook with no answer key.
I study the Bible and wonder why it doesn’t sink in the way it does for some, and I realize it’s because I am so vastly unique, we all are, which means that we each learn what is relevant to our lives, and the seasons we have walked through.
I watch the ripples in the puddle on a not so windy day and wonder when my own skin will age and wrinkle up under life’s pressures just the same.
A quick glance into my eyes speaks the volumes of pain in my soul. Images that one day I will be able to look into without having to turn away.