Nov 152015
 

It’s been another pain-full week with only one day where I didn’t have any pain until closer to bedtime. I am definitely grateful for the day that I was almost pain free and it did in fact make the gratitude list.

I have been writing a LOT in my gratitude journal the past few days. I wrote a few hundred things in the last three days which is awesome! I switched it out of my planner and into my journal so I would have room for it all and room to plan… God is good!

It is so easy to become weary when the sky is in a perpetual state of grey. I am actually waiting for the snow. Yep you hear me, WAITING FOR THE SNOW. I need it to snow because once we have a nice layer over everything even a grey sky reflects light off of the snow and the weary dreary goes away and energy returns and life begins to feel normal again.

The sun was actually out this morning when I woke up and put the dogs out. I stood there reveling in it’s yellow warmth and soaked in ten or so minutes of vitamin D and it felt lovely. Unfortunately, it clouded over quickly afterwards and the chill in the air returned. Oh but that sun was beautiful and warm! And now the candles are lit and they remind me that the light of God is always there, even when the clouds are trying to stop me from seeing the light.

I would love to hear how you fight the blues during the fall and what makes you feel weary!? I think for me that the time change really doesn’t help with the grey days. Can you be jet lagged from daylight savings? Oy!

Remember to pray for Paris and the rest of the world right now. God always prevails but asking for Him to intercede can never hurt!

Trying

 Tagged with: ,
Nov 082015
 

I am trying to enjoy fall and its many colors and textures but it is hard when you are in pain and dealing with emotional overflow at the same time. It is beautiful though, I will admit and despite a dog covered in burrs and another dog going bald and a cat who thinks she is a dog I have been able to soak up a few moments outside. Today I decided to take pictures because really, who doesn’t smile when their dog is smiling up at them?


I sang hymns while walking through the woods and climbing the rocks because it is hunting season and the last thing I need is to be shot while walking my dogs. Katie’s version of Lord, I Need You still sticks in my head and is often on my lips and it was today as animals and I trekked through the Canadian terrain.



Climbing up the highest rock I could find just to see what I could see. While telling animals to stay away from the edge of the small cliff because I was NOT climbing down to get them if they fell. And that blue sky? Yes! Not a cloud to be seen.



Though, I did happen to find some of this. Yep, snow. Just hanging out on the trail like it is later on the in the year than it is, like it wasn’t 50 degrees out today with the sun beaming warm. I guess we all fight to survive, even if we are snow.


And then at the end of the trail that we managed to find again after going off road (it’s a good thing I have a great sense of direction because really, no one would have found us had we got lost) we found the lake. The beautiful blue lake peaking through the trees on the horizon beckoning us to come down and see.





And yeah, there was some beautiful colors growing up over the rocks and there was a beautiful sun falling quickly behind the tree line.




And yes, the cat walks with us every time, the entire way. She helps little Charlie-dog navigate around the puddles and she comes when she is called.

Nov 052015
 

Yeah, I fall short of the Proverbs 31 woman and sometimes (a lot of the time) my perfectionism gets in the way and instead of trying I give up before I even start because I know I won’t complete the task to my own standard. The laundry clean in baskets waiting to be hung, the empty dresser needing wiped clean after a mouse decided to call it home. I can do this. I can do these things in under 15 minutes but the chaos in my head paralyzes me and the task list gets moved week to week until it’s so long I feel like it won’t get done unless I come undone.

My kids don’t help. At all. Ever. Okay, that’s not totally true, my son will help when he is told to, but if I ask I may as well be fighting a shark over a blood-raw steak because it just isn’t going to happen. So I feel like I am either snapping orders or snapping because I have no help and the truth is no one wants to snap and no one wants to do it alone and that picture perfect “yes mom” world we dream of when we are holding infants in arms makes us wonder where we went wrong because after all, my kid is going to do chores, is going to get straight A’s, is going to be in sports, never talk back, be helpful, courteous, well-mannered and never throw a fit in the store –ever.

But, after the first few weeks of their lives you realize that you aren’t perfect. Getting your body back isn’t happening the way you had planned, they aren’t sleeping through the night or eating enough and you realize that it’s all in His control because SOMEONE has to have control and it certainly isn’t me or you.

Now that the kids are older I still find myself reminding them to say please and thank you. A week or so ago I thanked someone and one of my children asked me why I always say “thank you”. Maybe leading by example also means that they need to know the why behind it. Why are you thanking the youth pastor or the pizza guy or the mail clerk for doing their jobs? Isn’t getting paid enough?


No… Child, it’s not enough to throw a tip at someone when you can throw a smile and offer your sincere thanks and praise. It’s not enough to think that they have enough since they are being paid.

We give thanks because Jesus gave thanks. That sweet eucharisteo spoken as He thanked His Father God for the wine, the food, the friends and family and strangers and everyone who could and would ever be saved.

I can order my child to do dishes and thank him for it because he did them, even if the attitude stinks, and show him that what he did was helpful and appreciated and that he is an asset to the family and the house instead of someone who simply lives here. I can thank my daughter for cleaning her own room even though she is 13 because it looks nice, she did a great job, I am happy she took initiative and I want her to know that her good works don’t go unnoticed and later on in the day, or while standing right there in her doorway I can say a thank-you to God for them being compliant, eager, willing and independent.


A lot of people have been talking lately about this book that’s name slips my mind right now, it’s a book about decluttering your house and living simply and in it the author speaks about thanking the items in your house and allowing them to rest. Thanking your socks for being walked on and serving your feet, thanking papers and dried out pens as you toss them out for making your life easier while they lasted. While I personally don’t talk to my objects I can understand where the author comes from.


If we are going to give thanks to everything we have and even to things that we don’t have, then we are going to be more content in our space, more caring of our objects, our lives and as a result happier because we are counting our blessings. You know, not everyone has socks to warm their feet, let alone put away. Not everyone has a dried out pen, or has ever held or seen a pen. People minister around the world without ever having held a Bible and I have 6. Keeping the gratitude journal alive and truly being grateful keeps me on track. It keeps me feeling real and it makes me realize what others lack.


Going forward I will continue to give thanks and be grateful for the opportunity to teach my kids (and myself) especially when they feel entitled and ungrateful because gratitude when given and received is wrapped up in heart and the heart is full of His unconditional love.

Perhaps…

 Tagged with: ,
Oct 272015
 

Perhaps things would be a lot different had I known God, really known God, as a teen. But, I doubt it. I wasn’t willing to see God or follow mainstream religion. I wasn’t willing to listen to wise words – I was a teen and I knew best.

I think it is easy to always wonder the what if’s and second guess the past because hindsight is 20/20 but in reality you can’t go back.

I saw a week or so ago trending on Twitter the question “if you knew who Hitler was, would you go back and kill baby Hitler?” and my response to that after thinking for a few minutes was “NO”.

No, I wouldn’t go back because all of those moments have molded not only who I am, but where I am, why I am and the world we live in.

Without Hitler women may never have officially gained the right to vote or even THINK on their own. Yes 100 years ago women having independent thoughts was largely frowned upon, and that’s putting it lightly. So while the world is full of sociopaths and mass murderers and wars that never should have been, there is a silver lining to it all if you look deep enough and hard enough.

For me, the World Wars caused my families to immigrate to Canada. It allowed me to be born and raised here. It opened up rights for women, rights to work, rights to think, and more importantly it showed men that women are perfectly capable of holding down the fort while they are away. As much as we NEED them, we CAN get along without them!

Perhaps some would go back in time and make some changes. I can see why. But for me, I have seen so much humanity come out of so much evil that the good has outweighed the bad, in every situation. God created everything to have a balance. Darkness and light. Up and down, left and right, North and South, hard and soft… you get it!

Oct 232015
 

I was travelling down this path looking for God in every place I could think to search, starting with the Bible and books written on the Word of God and then of course in the people who follow him and the people who don’t and somewhere along the messy path of papers tossed, folded highlighted and carpeting the bed and floors I realized that I had entered the world of ministry without even meaning to.

I was ministering to people through my blog, through my words because others could relate to the broken truth that I have experienced in my life and somehow that made us soul sisters in more ways than simply having Christ in common. I realized that church can be right here on my computer screen, in a Facebook group and on Twitter on Thursday nights, it can be prayers in a holding embrace in the grocery store shared among friends, it is dropping my son off at Youth group and keeping my eyes on the road as he points out the stars in the sky and explains to me which are burnt out.

God became my everything and I realized He is everywhere, in everything and I was sharing the joy I had found, because surely if He is faithful to lowly me, then He will be faithful to everyone else who seeks Him too!

I realized though, that ministry isn’t all smiles, it carries a lot of burden, pain and tears. My prayer list is a mile long and everyday someone else gets added, something else needs my energy, my focus, my bringing it to God. People don’t always ask for prayer
–actually, most don’t,
but they still need to be prayed for.


Without any formal training I have been blessed to minister to new and old friends. I have cried tears when cancer came back and stole a mama away from her kids, I have lost sleep praying with tears running down my cheeks -for the family who just lost their child, I have wept and rejoiced over successful organ transplants and offered comfort when they weren’t. I have given my honest opinion when asked. I have lost more friends than I can count and I have suffered silently while standing strong.

I have listened to stories told by elderly widowers speaking of their wives and how they met, got married and raised each other and then I have watched those same people wither away into dementia and heart failure and eventual physical death.

I have stood vigil over the dying and held their cold hands and prayed. I have made coffee and snacks in makeshift kitchens set up in hospital rooms for family who refused to leave. I have slept in chairs, I have lost sleep and made myself physically ill just so I could help someone to know they are spiritually well.

Yet, somehow in ALL of this ugliness there is a light and that light is Christ and I trust that He is guiding me just right, like the lighthouse protecting ships from jagged rocks in rocky seas, God is there always, perfectly, for both you and me.

I fell into ministry for a reason and I have no clue where it will take me or when, but I trust that God already knows and that He will use me in the ways I need to be used and I will gladly serve Him diligently. Ministry isn’t a 9-5, and for me it doesn’t even pay in dollars, but knowing that I have helped soul-holes be filled in and have been the one appointed to be leaned on is a task I do not take lightly. He is my strength, my refuge. Because of seeds planted in me years ago, He has grown around me, roots strong and protecting my soul.

Oct 222015
 

It’s been just over a year since I started taking Plexus products. A friend who I knew a decade ago and was living at home with her family started talking about these awesome products and how they were helping her through her “worst pregnancy ever” and how it became her “best pregnancy” once she started drinking a “pink drink” each day. While I was excited for her and the results she was seeing, a better pregnancy, improved IBS, no more pain, better sleep, more energy during the day, less naps, and so much more, I simply thought that it wouldn’t work for me, because nothing before had.

After her pregnancy, which was her 4th baby she was excited to share that she was able to continue to nurse her baby without having to supplement unlike all of her previous pregnancies and she was only ten pounds from her pre-pregnancy weight.

Then, I saw that her sister who is a Midwife, and who assisted in delivering my son, was using these products too, and then her mom and even her children! My interest was more than peaked. I was at a point where I literally felt like I wouldn’t live to see the new year and I was only 29 years old. So when I saw that this Mennonite family was spending the money on these products, sharing such intimate results with others and getting help with problems I had I figured I had nothing to lose by trying them.

So nearing the end of September of 2014 I placed my first Plexus order. My friend said if I ordered the pink drink AKA the Plexus Slim and the BioCleanse for gut health she would send me a free bottle of Probio5 from her own stash.

I received the products ordered from Plexus first and began taking them and called myself the “Plexus skeptic”. After all, year and YEARS of testing, medications, therapy, exercise… and the list goes on, with nothing helping me I really didn’t expect a plant based product line to do me any good. I felt beyond repair.

On September 26th I started taking the products. Here is what I said

Day 1 – The Plexus Skeptic
I placed my order earlier this month from Shelly’s plexus page and even with seeing all the results and testimonials I have my doubts that this will help me. However, I thought I should keep a little diary just in case it works.

I started the Slim and the BioCleanse today and was expecting my body to go full on angry with IBS symptoms and heart burn or some nasty taste in my mouth. It’s been several hours since I took it and I have had no tummy issues whatsoever which really shocked me because my system seems to hate everything these days.

The “pink drink” tastes like cherry coolaid and maybe a bit of fruit punch. It was much tastier than I had expected because Plexus doesn’t have a flavor written on this product. I definitely can see myself drinking this every day!

The Bio Cleanse also surprised me. While I have only had one dose I can’t advocate for any of these products working or not but again this hasn’t upset my stomach either. Normally with any type of capsule the plastic/chemical smell makes me nauseous when I open the bottle. I was expecting there to be that strong odor and I stuck my nose right in the bottle and it smelled like AIR. I even had my mom smell it to be sure I didn’t have a broken nose or something. So I was able to take them without gagging from smell or taste.

So far so good.

The next day I wrote

Day 2 – The Plexus Skeptic

Yesterday I drank all the water recommended. Considering I am not a water drinker that alone is a huge change. Drank the Slim again this morning when I woke up and took the BioCleanse.

Was fully expecting to be sick because I once again have a migraine but I can happily say that I have not had any tummy troubles like I do to pretty much everything else. Weighed myself yesterday and then today (I weigh myself every day, its torture) and I was surprised to see that I was down 1.6 lbs. Not sure if that is Plexus or normal fluctuation. We will see.

So far I am happy!

Oh, and not sure if this was a Plexus thing or just a weird day but last night when I normally snack I didn’t crave anything salty and I went for the chocolate covered almonds, which I only had 3 of and my night craving was gone.

After that I was no longer a skeptic. In the first week I lost weight and inches, my IBS was GONE, I could eat and drink dairy, I was sleeping, my cravings were gone, my snacking was gone, I was awake and I had energy during the day. I felt good for the first time in years.

By Christmas of 2014 I was done with 6 valium a day and off of one anti-depressant, for the first time since 2007. Since then I have lost over 30lbs and kept it off, I have earned money on products I ordered, my mom has been taking the products because she was amazed by the difference in ME, my pain levels are much more easily controlled even with an RA and Degenerative Disc disease diagnosis, I haven’t had a single flu or infection and sooo much more!

The best part though? I feel alive again. I went years feeling like I was merely co-existing in a world in which I didn’t belong. There were MANY times I begged God to take me home, I cried out to Him asking why I was still here. I don’t feel like that anymore. Every day is a new challenge and a new adventure.

I am excited to see how Plexus continues to work in me over the next year and I would love to talk to you more about it! Women who have had infertility from PCOS and other issues have become pregnant with Plexus and carried healthy full term babies, men have got on board and us Plexus people have a slogan saying “Real men don’t wear pink, they DRINK it”.

So many people are free of heart meds, cholesterol meds, thyroid meds, no longer suffering from lyme disease and its symptoms, having less flare ups in autoimmune diseases or complete remission.

It truly is AMAZING how something natural and plant based can heal us from the inside in such profound ways! Want to do your own research for your own symptoms? Google your issue + leaky gut and be amazed by how even mental illness is being affected by poor gut health!

Check out the awesome line of Plexus products at MarisaSlusarcyk.com

Oct 202015
 

Sometimes I wonder why my heart feels shattered but then I read your words and I know
I ask myself what I did wrong hoping that one day I’ll be good enough for my dreams to grow
The birds whistle regardless of whether or not they are free
Envious, I cry to myself thinking why can’t their songs belong to me?
Who am I in this life or the next when I am perplexed by the dangers of this awful hex…
Looking into the souls of those I once loved
I realize I am trapped being pushed and shoved
The chains are still on my ankles and wrists
Even the days where they are nothing more than a phantom mist
I am held firmly stuck in the past always succeeding yet coming in last
Giving more of myself then I knew I had, can giving of yourself turn out bad?
Licking the dryness of my weathered lips reminds me of the hands that scolded me while resting on hips
Smiling because I see her once again I know I am safe from myself yet another time
Playing these games that are supposed to be life, I can’t help but wonder which life is mine
Battered and bruised and down on my knees another day has passed with me unsuccessfully begging please
It doesn’t take a fist to bruise my soul
It doesn’t take dirt to bury me in a shallow hole
Living is pain and I often can’t breathe
No matter how hard I try God won’t let me leave.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...