Oct 272016
 

As many know, I hate to eat, I really don’t like the feeling of anything in my mouth and never have. It’s actually pretty crazy and my mama says I never did like to eat and I have never really known when I am hungry, that is, until I take a med that is supposed to make me sleep. Then I am starving and wanting food. I don’t normally remember it but when the feeling hits I have wondered if its my body saying “feed me or I am going to pass out” rather than actually being hungry.

I have been exhausted the last while and getting cravings for salt or candy each month. I find it funny because the only time I get cravings normally is when I am pregnant, which I assure you, I am NOT!

Food normally brings people together, the kitchen being the heart of the home, but for me, it does the opposite, avoiding family meals and going out for dinner with friends all because I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to be served something that I don’t want in my mouth. It makes me sad that my food aversions are so powerful as to prevent me from breaking bread with others, but it does.

In looking into this more and more as I have aged I have come to realize some of us who are “picky” actually have diagnosable food issues especially with textures. So, at least I am not the only one, though in a lot of ways, I wish I were, because I don’t want anyone avoiding social situations or getting in trouble for not eating their dinner, because of something that is an actual diagnosable issue.

So, if you are hosting and have someone who doesn’t want to eat, or seems to push their food around rather than placing it in their mouths, don’t take it personally, you may have someone who feels horrible on the other side of that plate who just can’t bring themselves to “do it.”

A compilation of 150 blog posts from the Five Minute Friday Community. The stories found in these pages span a diverse range of experiences, but share a common thread: A Love For the Bravely Written Word.
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Oct 212016
 

Lately, I have become one of those people who takes up two or three parking spaces without a care in the world. I think that makes me the person who frustrates me the most!? This tiredness is giving me this nonchalant attitude of simply not caring, and I don’t like how it is changing me.

I want to do everything in a manner that brings glory to God and yet I don’t have the energy, so what kind of Christian does this make me? Is He meeting me in the parking lot and whispering in my ear that it’s okay to park crazy as long as I park safely or is He looking down and shaking His head at this broken child and saying that I have fallen and fallen hard?

When will He answer my prayer and refill my energy supply? When will my psyche realize that I am not psycho and that less is better than more? Will I realize it when He whispers into my itchy, fluid filled ears that I am enough?

Or, are these truths that I already know but refuse to admit to myself?

I need to park myself down and have a true Sabbath. A day of rest. A day to live love and absorb the world, the Word. A day where I don’t think about tomorrow and simply live in His grace and in the faith I have that He already has tomorrow planned and worked out so that I don’t have to be enslaved to the calendar or a list.

I need to create the habit of a weekly Sabbath for myself. I would LOVE to know how you do this so you don’t burn out like me!?

Oct 202016
 

I’ve reached this sort of burn out that I didn’t know I could get if I wasn’t post-partum. This exhaustion that cuts into the marrow of my bones and sucks me dry. A weekend, the kind where you relax and have happy family time isn’t in the foreseeable future, but when is it when you have teens?

Between teens wandering off and sports I am beginning to believe I live in the car. My autoimmune issues are in a constant flare-up, my allergies are beginning to feel like a disease and I have literally dangled by my hair from the seatbelt trying to escape the all-wheel drive jail cell.

I should be grateful for all that I have, and in actual fact, I am. I know that I have far more blessings than so many people in this world but that doesn’t change that I am falling asleep everywhere, not sleeping when I need to, and have a to-do list a mile long with worry on my mind and pain in my soul.

I actually look forward to a Monday now because that means the hectic weekend is over and that I can check off some of those boxes and try to detox my soul by sinking into the Word while allowing it to sink into me.

Don’t ever ask a stay at home mama what she does all day, because it is really exhausting, even if you are healthy.

Oct 162016
 

I stare up at the sun and realize that today is yesterday on the other side of the world, and yet there are times in the day where we can both gaze up at the same stars, moon and feel the heat from the very same sun.

Then, I realize how vast the universe is and how little I am within it.

Lunar Eclipse ©Marisa Slusarcyk

How I am barely a speck of a speck and yet God counts every single hair on my head. That blows me away! He knows every star in the sky, every soul that has walked this earth or ever will, every hair on every head, and each of mine are just as BIG to Him as my brothers and sisters created by Him who stand firmly in His Holy Name!!!


A compilation of 150 blog posts from the Five Minute Friday Community. The stories found in these pages span a diverse range of experiences, but share a common thread: A Love For the Bravely Written Word.
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Oct 152016
 

I woke up today to the family wondering where the entire case of Gatorade had gone. It was almost comical listening to them feel insane swearing up and down that it was on the floor in the dining room the day before, especially since it had been.

But the floors needed mopped and I cleaned out a cupboard and found space and was able to unpack the case and recycle the box and put the Gatorade away and apparently when you tell the child who actually needs the Gatorade where it is and don’t tell anyone else it causes an early morning ruckus as they try to get ready for a hockey game.

They found it, you know, once they actually stopped looking on the floor!


It’s amazing how a small move can really cause such an issue for someone when they are used to things being in a certain place, a certain way. And yet for us Christians many of us spend our lives searching for God and in reality He isn’t hidden in a cupboard, a church, behind a door, or inside of a book. Yes, He certainly is in all of these places but the one place that needs to be searched and tends to be overlooked is within our own hearts, our own souls.

He created our soul in the very beginning. He created it all, and all of us, right then and there in those first days as the universe took shape and for whatever reason we expect God to be like the Gatorade or the lost keys or the dollar you thought you had in your wallet and can’t find, but that’s not the case. He is unmoving, unwavering, living within those of us who choose to live.

When we accepted Him into our hearts as Lord and Saviour of our lives it wasn’t until He moves on to someone else, to another place. This isn’t a game of hide and seek. He is there, forever and always. We can send Him an eviction notice but He will wait us out and He won’t move.

A compilation of 150 blog posts from the Five Minute Friday Community. The stories found in these pages span a diverse range of experiences, but share a common thread: A Love For the Bravely Written Word.
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Oct 132016
 

I’ve been staring at the screen and the cursor blinking now trying to write and I am aware of the sound of the fish tank needing water, the rush of the filters flowing hard and lulling me to a different time and place.

Aware that the darkness outside my window seems blacker than usual -a sign that the moon and stars must be covered in clouds that can’t be seen until the sun rises.

The exhaustion that has taken over my body weighing me down, like if I were to fall into waters deep I would sink straight to the bottom like a solid rock -and there never seems to be enough air. The air is tight inside of me, not wanting to escape my lungs and refusing to fill them properly too.

Panic possesses me and heightens the sensations of… everything. My emotions running high, my heart easily wounded and hurt. My bruises coloring me in shades of purples and pinks and blacks and green.

The swelling in my back pressing against my tailbone and causing numbness to painfully run down my legs.

A God who has redeemed me and saved me from all of these things if I simply choose to have faith, and I do. I am aware of that, and when the pain gets too high I pull into Him even more than I do in the everyday mundane and for that I am grateful. The hurt in my body and the broken in my soul are what makes me cry out to the One who has already saved.

And, when it is really bad I can feel His mouth against my ear and His words caress my ear “by My stripes you are healed.” The truth, spoken directly into me by the One who IS Truth.

A compilation of 150 blog posts from the Five Minute Friday Community. The stories found in these pages span a diverse range of experiences, but share a common thread: A Love For the Bravely Written Word.
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Oct 102016
 

When you see me in the grocery store smiling and laughing you don’t see the pain behind my smile. The unknown’s that are hidden behind my eyes but right at the surface of my brain. Almost like if you were to pluck out an eyeball instead of gore you would have thousands of thoughts just pour out of me.

Ones that only a very select few even know.

Ones that often scare even myself.

I don’t know how tonight will go or what tomorrow will bring or if the risen Son will give me the gift to rise at all.

The unknowns are in everything, the everyday mundane, in the isle that hasn’t caused an asthma attack in a year that made me sick today. In the strange smell of fried onion wafting through the town at 9:30 this morning or the smell of blueberry tea around noon.

They say you learn something new every day. I never used to believe that, but then one day I realized that Christ was the gift that keeps on giving, the teacher who keeps teaching, the preacher that keeps preaching. I am His lamb and He is my shepherd. A hook to gently guide.

The only thing I know for certain is that Christ is the One constant, the One that is steadfast, faithful, unmoving, every changing and not changing at all.

 

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