Jan 082015
 

I started to write this on something else but the computer crashed and it didn’t auto save so I am going to go with that post wasn’t meant to be, it wasn’t welcome.

What makes you feel welcome when you enter into someone’s home? For me it isn’t a spotless house where I am uncertain if I should place my glass down somewhere or if I am even allowed to drink it outside of the kitchen sink.

The mess welcomes me. It feels like home. It feels like if I spill red wine (which I don’t drink) on their white rug they will tell me it is fine and hand me a roll of medium quality paper towel to wipe it up with. Not saying I am happy with a pigsty but to me a house with kids playing and Legos to step on and cookies transferred from a bag to the cookies jar is welcoming because I don’t feel like I have to compete or like I am not good enough.

The feeling of being welcome isn’t in the music playing or what’s on the TV or if they have set out some sort of spread. Feeling welcome is being in the presence of someone I love enough and who loves me enough to overlook the mess and see the beauty.

Tonight I began to read (again) You’re Already Amazing by Holley Gerth and a few pages into chapter one I found myself holding back the sobs crying, realizing that all that stuff that I am not, not organized, not pulled together, not a busy body etc isn’t an issue. God created me to be who I am and as long as I am striving to be His child and live according to His plan for me then really I have nothing to feel guilty for and that, that made me bawl my eyes out right there in the welcoming waters of the bathtub. I couldn’t even continue to read through chapter two because like the conditioner setting into my hair I needed her words to set into my soul so that His word could cradle my soul and guide me right.

It always amazes me how much being told I am “good enough” affects my emotions. Clearly this is something I need to work on. My word for the year is “FINISH” and my verse for the year is “All things are possible with God” –Mark 10:27

This year is the year to finish with the past, tighten up those loose ends and live in a state of welcoming more God into every aspect of my life. After all, the only place I want to be welcome is Heaven and according to God (who makes no mistakes) I am already amazing!

720605: You"re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be You’re Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to BeBy Holley Gerth / RevellMany women are tired. Tired of trying to do more, be more, and have more. With busy work, home and church lives, it’s easy to feel like our spiritual growth gets short-changed. But what if God is already pleased, more than pleased–totally head over heels crazy about us and our hearts regardless of our mistakes and crunched schedules? If it’s true, that big load we’ve been carrying feels lighter already. In You’re Already Amazing, Holley Gerth wants readers to know that they can lay down the burden of their own, and others expectations, and embrace who they are as beloved, talented women. Rediscover the gifts you’ve been given and the life of purpose that God has for you.
Jan 032015
 

When you don't wake up to a huge to-do it is easier to go to bed with a to-doneI set the alarm for this morning in hopes of re-finding a routine. I woke up 20 minutes before the alarm thinking maybe I should just go back to sleep.

Instead I woke up and put the dogs out and refilled their dish while refueling my mind, “All things are possible with God”, and then I let those icey-cold dogs in and set down their bowls and made my way upstairs where my parents were watching a movie and drinking coffee. My boy is playing quietly in his room and my girl? She sleeps and so does her dog and I wonder to myself why this child who loved school so much before the break suddenly doesn’t want to go back…

I crack an egg into a bowl and add a pinch of pepper and a couple of tablespoons of milk and the fork bursts the yolk as I fluff away as potatoes fry in the pan. I sprinkle them with cheese and let it melt as I move them to my plate. I make a scrambled egg in the same pan and I smile at my small plate of food because I likely wouldn’t have eaten breakfast at all if I had stayed in bed.

I watch some of the movie on the TV with my dad and then I come down here to rest my poor aching back.

I light the candles and the warm aroma fills the air and I wonder if a few small flames can really add any tangible amount of heat. The lanterns remind me that “He has made everything beautiful in its time”.

I plug in that snowy looking tree wearing the Jesse Tree paper ornaments from Christmas and I think that I should fill the tree with quotes or gifts or both throughout the year.

I toss some flakes into the fish tank and I realize that my day is more than underway and I haven’t been up this early in a month or so.

Maybe writing out a plan for tomorrow really does make a difference in the day. Maybe even us stay at home moms do need a schedule and a plan, beyond when the kids go to bed.

I have laundry to do, but who doesn’t? As long as I am not a nudist living in a cave I am more than sure laundry will be on the dauly list. While I am up I should look for a black pen.

My white duvet cover and sheets are in the wash! I get so excited to change my duvet and have a bed freshly done and made. It feels good to wake up to clean things because it keeps the mind fresh and new.

When you don’t wake up to a huge to-do it is easier to go to bed with a to-done.

Jan 022015
 

I would love to say I woke up early today but the truth is I haven’t woken up early in several weeks. I was doing pretty well (for me) and waking up in the morning and going to sleep at a decent time during the first round of Hello Mornings that Jen and I did together. Since then, we have had a break and an unofficial round for Advent and we are gearing up for our next official session starting on the 12th.

I would also love to say that my kids had a nice wholesome homemade breakfast today but that isn’t true either, the oldest is just crawling out of bed and the youngest I haven’t seen yet. He is likely playing a video game or still sleeping.

Now that the oldest is awake she will probably want chicken noodle soup, and by that I mean Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup, which is a packaged soup that needs to be rehydrated or something, no chicken is actually in it, except for flavouring… it’s her favourite along with a grill cheese on rye.

You see, I try to feed my family better, homemade turkey wild-rice soup full of veggies? Check! Do they enjoy it? Check! Would they eat it daily? NOPE! That box of soup always gets pulled back out to feed them, and honestly, I like the stuff too, just not daily. On the upside it’s not ramen on the downside it’s still an overly processed food.

I am not perfect in feeding my kids, and now that they are older I will forget until someone says “I am hungry” and when I ask “what do you want?” they say “I don’t know” and then, suddenly I am missing having a baby in the house who just eats 99% of what I put out. These kids in the double digits can be so picky and well, I am even pickier than they are which makes creating one meal, instead of two or three meals, per sitting difficult at best.

They go back to school next week after what seems to be a rather long Christmas break, yes CHRISTMAS BREAK, not a winter break. We had Christmas concerts centered on Christ and the whole bit before they finished up school for Christmas break. I am going to miss having them around, even though the attitudes and the faux chicken noodle I could do without.

I dread school for them and I wish I was in a position to homeschool them but the three of us living with my parents means “NO!!!” because my parents need the break. Their house, their rules and now that the kids have lived here the whole of their lives they don’t have any intention of moving out, even if I do. This is their home and because they are the age they are and they are normal-for-today kids, I really feel like that’s one decision they should be able to make. Lord knows that they have dealt with more than anyone should have to.

So when I read Jesus saying “Let the little children come to me…” I pray, Father I am doing my best to teach them about you please keep your arms open for these little people who struggle to believe what they cannot see, please wait and let my children come to thee!

And with all His glory and power and might I hear Him tell me I should not worry about tomorrow because not only are all things possible with God, they are promised.

With those words in my mind I know that everything I do in raising my children, so long as it is done through prayer and a heart for the Lord, I can call it done, over with, good enough. I can go to bed and know that whatever the night holds God has this and I can close my eyes and whisper, Thank You Father for helping me finish my day right.

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