Oct 062015
 

This is my verse for the year so what better way to start off day 6 of #write31days than with the #FMFParty Prompt “possible”!?!

It is so true though, I am learning through this year that this verse really was what I needed to hear and hear again as time has gone on.

It isn’t easy being a parent. It is really, really hard to co-parent with your own parents when you have different beliefs and different expectations. I am finding this is becoming a meditation of sorts because when everything around me makes me feel upset and defeated (I am HIGHLY emotional) reminding myself that all things are possible with God seems to ground me and remind me of His faithfulness to me even when I am not faithful to Him.

It amazes me that choosing such a simple verse for myself for the year can have such an impact on the day to day. In a lot of ways it has helped me to stay on track with reading and reviews, blogging, and picking myself up when I really, REALLY don’t want to.

I have learned this year that parenting with my parents is possible.

That loving my children while disliking their behaviour is not only possible, but necessary.

I have learned that saying I love you, even though it is rarely said back, is in fact heard.

With the diagnosis of arthritis and degenerative disc disease I have realized that pain free days are possible and even predictable to an extent. I have learned that journaling really helps me to feel sane. I have learned that God has a purpose for me and that is why He has kept me alive. I have learned that keeping pets are really hard on my body and that in order to keep things under control I have to be more strict (no more sleeping in my bed).

I have learned that you CAN teach an old bird to talk and best of all, laugh!

I have learned to mourn. I have had so many losses in my life but never actually grieved. I have become more capable of mourning a loss in a healthy way, which I never ever thought would be possible for me. EVER.

I know this post doesn’t seem like much, maybe it’s not the best to read, but it is fun for me to reflect on how this one verse has played a big part in my life. I have been in the Word more this year than ever before.

Because of my back issues, pain medications and struggling with all of that I have found it possible to be closer to God on a daily basis. So the most I have learned is that He will use every opportunity, if we allow, to bring Him glory!

All Things are Possible With God
~Mark 10:27~

Sep 232015
 

I have been following along the last three days with the study of Women of the Old Testament hosted over at IF Equip. So far we have been working through Genesis 1-4 and I have learned a lot about Eve that I had never considered before because she does have such a brief mention in the Biblical texts and aside from her being part of original sin, very little else has been said. Women simply weren’t big characters to write about in the Bible, even though they were huge characters to life, then and now.

Eve was a lot of things, she is the Mother of ALL the Living.
She is the very first woman created by God.
She was taken from man and created from his flesh and bone.
She was created to be a helper.

The Hebrew word for “help” as used in the KJV is `ezer which means “one who helps, support.”

God is the creator of all. He blessed Eve with Seth even though she had sinned and her son, Cain, killed his brother, Abel. This tells me that at some point between Eve eating the forbidden fruit and her bearing children, that she and God had some sort of reconciliation. Yes, He did say “in pain you shall bring forth children“, but He continued to bless her despite the sins of her family. He gave her another chance to raise a son after Abel was killed. As a mother I know you can’t simply replace a child, but I think it is fair to assume that Eve and God were on good terms.

It isn’t easy to be a mom. It is actually hard. But isn’t that what God had told Eve it would be like right there in the Garden of Eden before He removed them? Pregnancy is painful, hard on the body, and for many is difficult to even achieve. Then, birthing a child is something that simply can’t be explained. It is a miracle, and that is truly the only description you will get because within moments of the birth the pain is forgotten and love overflows and we are reminded that the work is only just beginning as our minds shelter us from the trauma our bodies just experienced.

I think it is important to note that when Adam and Eve ate from that tree they had been tempted by the lies of the serpent. Lies were already in existence in an otherwise perfect world where Adam, Eve and God worked in perfect harmony. No matter where you are, whether it is on the streets in the middle of a bad neighbourhood at night or in a Church on Sunday morning you will be exposed to lies and our relationship with God, our understanding of the Truth that is the Word of God is the only protection we have in being obedient to Him and in crushing that serpent down into the dust from which it came.

For me being a helper means that I encourage my family, and my friends in their walk with God. I trust that many hands make for light work and that there are a billion ways I can help, from prayer to standing in the mission field. If I am obedient to my calling I am being a helper, just as Eve was to Adam and to God.

One of the questions asked yesterday was “What does it look like to live at peace with God?” Simply put, I don’t think any of us can truly answer that because we are always being tempted by sin. I imagine it is a beautiful and loving feeling that we will experience when we get to Heaven, where pain and suffering no longer exists and we become helpers of His Holy Realm. We have all been given the opportunity to reach Heaven through the love of our Lord Jesus Christ and the cross.

The blood, sweat, pain and anguish up there on the crossed beams of a tree came so that my sins could be wiped away, my slate clean and fresh and new each day. I need not worry because I have Christ Jesus who has already saved me!

Finally, my last thought for today is that Satan is everywhere, but so is God. Satan lied to Eve and changed her perception. He never told her that God had lied, he spun a tale to suit his own selfish purpose causing her human side to stumble and fall into sin. Being cognizant of the world around me and the lies I am being told each day is extremely important to my life now and eternally. God’s Word can be (and is) altered easily by the one who wants to bring us down and yes, Satan is fluent in scripture and can play fast and hard if we let our guard down.

Sep 152015
 

The walls around the village limits rose high on the horizon, yet when the darkness fell and the sky was lit by the moon and the stars I fell under siege, an army throwing flaming balls with their trebuchet over the walls and burning down my domain. The fire scorching everything it touched, bursting life as I knew into flames.

God hollering down at me, “child, this is another of Satan’s games!!”

My pulse grew quickly as I clambered to escape, even if that meant giving up, giving in, to end the pain and let Satan win. Yeah, the nausea, flashbacks, and nightmares –all feel like an inescapable plague.

Maybe I don’t know what to do, maybe I know exactly what to do. I honestly have no clue which is right or wrong. I can only pray that I am following the one who won’t lead me wrong. Maybe anxiety is part of an attack, or maybe it is God’s way of showing me where I shouldn’t go. How do you figure out the truth? How do you really truly know?

Sometimes, I feel frozen in time, and then I am reminded that staying the same is often the key to change and that maybe, just maybe, I am exactly where I need to be in order to do what God created me for.

If my story can bring Him glory, then my life has been a success. I can live with that. If I can turn one person to the One who is most high I will deem this life a success.

If I keep prayer on my tongue and His Word on my lips than I can force Satan to shut up, like Jesus did while He was being tempted those 40 days.

Yeah. I know, I am not Jesus. I am NOT God. BUT I am created in His likeness, and that has to account for something, right?

All things are possible with God
~Mark 10:27~

Sep 032015
 

I haven’t written in what seems like forever. It is already Thursday and tonight will be another Five Minute Friday prompt. Yet, right now, I feel like I just need to put pen to paper, or in this case type. It’s not that I have been suffering from writersblock, per se, but I have been suffering in other ways, that make me feel less than worthy of writing, less than worthy of your attention, less than worthy of my post jumping into your inbox.

Yet today, even though I feel less than, I also KNOW that I am more than.

You see, how we feel and what we are, often become two very different things. I know I am not less than because God said so. Right there in Genesis when He looks down on all that He has made and says that “it is very good”. That includes you and I and all the people who have yet to come. In those days God created the Heavens and the Earth, He created everything that was and is and is ever to come.

Whoa! Right?! I know!! Hard to believe. Maybe that is putting it lightly? Yet when we travel through the Biblical texts we see right from the book of Genesis how people lived, died and completely messed up, all leading up to Christ’s arrival. We learn before we ever reach the New Testament, as in BEFORE IT WAS EVEN WRITTEN, that:


“Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot— yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root”
~Isaiah 11:1~

That Branch is our Lord and Saviour. He came from ‘roots’ filled with adultery, murder, lies, accidents, mistakes, polygamy, and the list goes on.

And yet, He is perfect!!

This tells us that through Him we are redeemed. Plain and simple. No jumping through hoops, trying to be the “better Christian”, all we have to do is welcome Christ into our hearts, and accept Him as our Lord and Saviour! Can you imagine that God had people going through so many different situations all so Jesus could come and save all of those who pray Him into their heart?! It sounds too good to be true, but it’s not.

Because of ALL of this, I am “more than” in a “less than” world. I can overcome my past and live a future bright with Christ. I am perfectly created in His likeness and having accepted Christ into my heart I know deep down that it is Satan who spews the lies to me and makes me feel “less than”, Satan who silences me, upsets me, tears me up, causes me to compare and covet and and and…

You are MORE THAN what the world makes you feel too. You are God’s child, exactly how you are!

“But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law. When he was hung on the cross, he took upon himself the curse for our wrongdoing. For it is written in the Scriptures, “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.”
~Galatians 3:13~

Jun 232015
 


by his stripesLooking into the eyes of my freshly born babies, covered in goo and angered over the trauma of coming into the world. Loved immeasurably more than I ever thought possible just when I thought I already loved them more than one could ever love anything.

The lessons I have learned from my children, especially in their infancy, will never be forgotten either.

  • The way a mama can suddenly fall asleep anywhere at any time as long as the baby is sleeping too.
  • Those first smiles, steps and words – etched into my brain like it happened seconds ago.
  • Those broken hearts, frustration over school work, and hormonally bad attitudes about everything.
  • The 4 millionth chicken nugget suddenly being the time I find out that chicken has always been hated and they no longer plan to eat that.

Then there is the time I found a hot dog, with bun, in the fish tank and I wanted so badly to scold the child but the tears of laughter weakened me to the smile on that child’s face.

There are the broken-horrible things that I won’t ever forget though either. Waking in the night dizzy with cramps, only to find out I was hemorrhaging at 10 weeks pregnant, the miscarriages that just happened without any pain or notice, the little blob of a baby held in my blood-stained hand as I sat in the washroom calling out for help.

Those are the memories that I will never forget, the good, the bad, the scary and the downright ugly. While I didn’t know it at the time, God was there through it all, holding my hand and giving me the strength to keep moving on. I didn’t know that years later I would be leaning on God with the full weight of my brokenness and knowing that by His stripes I am already healed. {Isaiah 53:5}

More recently it has really clicked in that God has a map for my life and that I am exactly where I need to be, no matter how horrid the circumstances were that brought me here. God is in control and always has been. I take comfort and solace in knowing that none of this was in vain. That my pain will be used to bring Him glory, and that those babies that were born into my hand were born spiritually into his arms and that His face was the first that they ever saw.

Jun 022015
 

The rain this morning came down hard – very hard and then just like that the sun was out and the day was bright. The sky is darkening again as I believe a storm is rolling in and I have to smile to myself about this. Because after every storm there is a calm. A calm promised to us by God through the magic of that rainbow given to Noah as a covenant that the world would never flood over again.

I have wondered many times how Christians in third world countries feel when a tsunami hits and washes away their lives or when torrential rains come down so hard that everything including people are washed away. Do they remember the rainbow or do they feel as though God has forsaken them? How would I feel?

I have lived through a lot of metaphorical storms in my life and in the midst of them all I couldn’t believe that there was ever going to be light again. I couldn’t imagine the rain stopping and a rainbow appearing because I didn’t trust those moments of calm – so few and far between.

Then, somewhere along the broken road I found God. I mean, I thought I already had God, but I actually FOUND Him and that made the world a different place to be. Suddenly there was light in the darkest of days. Suddenly there was hope for the future even if I had no clue what that future was to hold. Suddenly the calm would wash over me and I could trust it to always return and more importantly I knew that no matter how dark the shadows were the Light was always there.

I began to use images in my head. Just like a storm. If the sky is covered in clouds of black is the sun or moon not still there and shining bright? Just because I can’t see the sun doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist on that day. It simply means something is clouding the view.

I look up to see the Son in the midst of a black world and I know that there is light and that has changed everything.

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